Why I Am

Why do you do what you do? Why do you talk that way? Why do you work a certain job? Why do you enjoy certain things? Why do you get mad at other things? Why are you the way you are? This is a tough question that not many people ever get asked or ever really think about, they just do. Go through motions day by day accepting reality as is and trying to make the best with the great reasoned question being why are we here? what is the purpose? but beside humanity as a whole do people really ask people these questions? No, do people ask themselves these questions? most likely the answer again is no. These are some very important questions though because they define your life.
I ask myself these questions quite frequently. Why am I in school? to further my abilities to help people that are like me, Why do I wear shorts year round? cause comfort in life is very important to me and with a short time here on earth I want to be comfortable, plus the south is beautiful. Why do I get up each day? the love that creates itself with unexpected moments and opportunities that can only be discovered by arriving at that point at the right time? Why do you work the job you work? because, if I could help someone in any way like so many people helped me then my life will have passed on to another and my experiences and struggles can help another person to relate or identify and pass on to someone else. Why do I date Desiree? She is not only the most beautiful person I know but a true deep source of inspiration, happiness, strength, passion, and the most abundant source of love I have ever experienced, can't even put into words. Why do I love Dave Matthews Band, Bob Dylan, and Grateful Dead? Many different reasons but bottom line they rock my soul. Why am I sober each day? Because I would have been dead by now and nothing in my life has purpose while on chemicals.
I only know some aspects of myself but they are important ones to me. Which is another question Why are they important? These questions are important to ask because with such a short time to live the time should not be wasted on things that are not of meaning or importance in your life. Is the stress of a job or relationship worth the cost of time that passes and frustration that it causes or should the time be spent in a job that you enjoy or a relationship that fulfills a part of you? Is the anger towards a situation worth the scars of your hope that remains after the guilt has subsided? Why not do things that you want to do and not what you have to do? If you want love in your life do loving things in your own life.
It all comes back to awareness. Awareness of yourself, your spot in life, your situation and an honesty with that. For me its love. Love of people, places, music, sports, information, spirituality, animals, nature, struggles, all of it. There is love in everything as we are here out of love itself. I enjoy finding that love in the smallest of places. The forgotten places, the hidden places, with people who do not have the chance to experience love, the people who cannot feel love, the love the comes from the sun every day and from the stars every night. Perspective.
So I dare everybody to ask yourself these questions. To be honest and take the chance of trusting your instincts. Life is too too short. Any minute any of us can disappear. Are these the dreams you had or intended, is there something you want to do. When you live full out your dreams you are free as it is your God given right. When I got sober and have stayed sober, anything life throws at me I cannot lose. Chemicals almost killed me but I am still here 5 years later trying to help other people not die from chemical use. When you extend that mentality to your whole life, that you cannot lose, there is no limit to what you can achieve. I recently read a quote from the amazing professional surfer Kelly Slater and he states that "You are who you are until you start becoming aware of yourself. Then you start to have choices of who you are. Then you get a new life". I dare all of you to answer those questions. I have and that is Why I Am!