Thursday, October 28, 2010

Fall in North Carolina

Well as we are getting ready for Halloween and the Fall season is already a month old I am again, year after year surprised by the beautiful weather down here. Some trees are starting to change on the eastern side of the state but not many as today the temp is 85 and yesterday we reached a high of 89 degrees on October 27th. I forget that it is October sometimes as I am used to gray and rain with the leaves being mostly gone by this time in NY. I havent had to wear a jacket yet as the lowest low in the middle of the night is just starting to dip below 50. Every year I forget how beautiful this season is down here. Of all of them it is my favorite. Hot days with low humidity and cool summer like nights with clear moonlight almost every night. Next week is November and the weather typically stays like this through December. I have been at the beach, gotten sunburned and watched football in late November. The eastern side of the state stays warmer while the western part of the state through the blue ridge mountains and the appalachian trail start changing leaves around this week as it is cooler in the higher elevation and next to New England this time of year there is not any better foliage anywhere. I like the fall because I like the change that it symbolizes. I like the family gatherings around the holidays, football, and fun holidays like Halloween. This morning I got up at 6:30 and it was already 72 degrees out and I forget that this is Fall. Enjoy the colors, they are absolutely beautiful and another reason why I think LSD was supposed to be discovered.....

Monday, October 25, 2010

Universally Speaking

The universe is a strange and magical place that exists everywhere all around us in every way. I am a believer in universal connections between people and especially energy. I think that people share energy by the movement that they put out into the universe. Have you ever been around someone that was completely negative? That energy has an effect on you. This is the same when a person has an abundance of positive energy, you can feel that energy as if it is something in the room. There visibly isn't much to see but yet you can feel it. I work with many people with many different forms of energy all day. I can feel the energy that they put out. I believe that many people can actually move this energy and that can be an effective tool to use. I was talking with a friend and they pointed out how priests and pastors and preachers do alot of movement with their hands, from lifting to opening, to praying, to holding a hand in the air. These are all transferred movements that move the energy around the room. It is actually pretty powerful stuff, kinda like reiki but not as direct with the focus and movement but just more open as a whole. I try to work at sending positive energy into the universe on a daily basis. Sometimes this is easy and sometimes this is difficult. The saying "things will work out""things just happen" well these are true-to some extent. The universe is huge and ever changing and things don't just happen that will change my life because in many aspects the universe is just how I see it and how I experience it. I am alive, conscious and fully aware of my universe. The universe doesn't make mistakes and people have to find their way within the universe. Some people delay events or procrastinate, some people don't do anything but blur their existence while others take things for granted. We have all met people that life flows through them in the most extreme levels and pours energy out unto others around them and we have been around others that are a miserable negative energy that sucks positive energy away. At this time I choose to live with every ounce of my body and being. I choose to have intention with everything that I do and doing that I am fully aware and mindful of what I am doing. I choose to put a positive energy into my universe and so far life and the experiences keep getting more meaningful and deeper. What I used to need chemicals to achieve I can achieve on my own. I am constantly reminded how fragile life is and am amazed at how much of mine I spent unconscious and under the influence. Today I cannot grasp doing that again as I enjoy living and being fully present too much. Good things can happen but even in the simplest of things, it requires work. You are the universe, you are a part of it and with that comes a responsibility to others and creating healthier environments to grow in. It is a daily struggle but it is possible. Be mindful of the differences there is a noticeable difference. "If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?"--Dogen

Sunday, October 24, 2010

New York Yankess Offseason Issues 2010

As the offseason begins, typically, the Yankees get ready to reload and as they were beaten pretty badly this year I look for a big offseason ahead. First of all in my opinion thier leader Joe Girardi is a little weak in the knees when it comes to being a consistent leader. He tips his hand when he is down and it was evident that his players fed off that during their pathetic performance in the playoffs. To continue with the coaching staff--they have got to go. Everybody raves about this Kevin Long and what a great hitting coach he is but the Yanks hit a horrible .201 with 6 HR's in the LCS while Texas batted .304 with 9 HR's this applies to my next reasoning for getting rid of the pitching coach as well. The fact is the Yanks have an all-star team. These guys batted 300 with 30 HR's every year before they get to the Yankees and they struggle. Players play the game but these coaches did so much tinkering that the players were 2nd guessing themselves too much in the postseason. My solution, David Cone as pitching coach--a proven pitcher and winner and Tony Pena as the manager. Girardi doesnt have the confidence to do what is needed to be done.
Top priority in the offseason of course is going to be pitching. Jeter needs to be resigned and will be and so will Mariano Rivera. I think the Yankees will be aggressive in trading for Nick Swisher while his stock is high. In the last two postseasons Swisher has batted .128 in 2009 with 1 HR and .176 this year with 2 HR's but his regular season stats are solid so trade him now and get max value such as some pitching, maybe somebody like a Derek Lowe from the Braves who eats innings and keeps his team in the game and also having pitched for the Red Sox is familiar with a brutal AL East schedule. Next move is then to sign Carl Crawford of the Rays. This is like a Brett Gardner upgrade and at this point your outfield then becomes the fastest in baseball with Gardner, Granderson, and Crawford. Unfortunatley this may also be the time to deal Jorge Posada. Jorge has 1 year left on his contract and will be 40. Jorge didnt hit very well this year and the Yankees were the worst in baseball at holding runners. In the playoffs Jorge was embarrased and Cervelli and Montero have hige upside and again some team will overpay for Jorge Posada. This brings us to pitching. The biggest thing at this point would be signing Cliff Lee. The Yanks will overpay but you gotta have it. Pettitte will contemplate his retirement again but will be back he is a true competitor and the best postseason pitcher in history. Hughes will be better and AJ has got to be better especially if you had a pitching coach like Cone who also threw hard and made adjustments. The Yankees always do something surprising and this year will be no different. I didnt see the Granderson move last year but that was one of the best moves they have made. The offseason is almost as interesting as the season itself. This year the American League was won in July by the Seattle Mariners....Cliff Lee was a Yankee and they took it back and gave it to Texas....the difference in the American League...screw the Mariners..

2011 Rotation

SS Jeter
LF Crawford
1B Texiera
3B Rodriguez
2b Cano
DH Thames
CF Granderson
C Cervelli
RF Gardner

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dark Side of Oz

LSD was always my favorite chemical mixture as it could blend so many things to me and really open my thoughts even wider then they were already open. Abusing this drug for years lead to quite a few experiences and one of them was the experience of combining one of the most classic movies of all time with one of the most classic albums of all time, Pink Floyd is pretty nasty sober and so you can imagine how LSD can mess around with it. Years ago we put the CD in on repeat and pressed play after the third lions roar. The coincidences and hilarity of it all was very enjoyable and I even enjoy it now, sober, but I don't see the connection as much. Pink Floyd has denied any connection for years but later on down the road some of their album covers actually included a pair of red ruby shoes...coincidence, maybe, maybe not. Anyway on LSD or sober here is a clip of one of the great pairings of all time. To me both the movie and the album are two breakthrough inspirational pieces of art and I enjoy the Darkside of Oz whenever I can. Enjoy....

Dark side of Oz

Dorothy | Myspace Video

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Social Network

Just the title alone and then seeing the previews for this movie with its perfect music in the background of Radiohead's "Creep" was enough to leave me with a growing distaste for Facebook and the generation of tech savvy isolation that distracts and leads ultimately to laziness, self-centerdness and depression. It took me awhile to get on the Facebook and currently my wife keeps me up to date with pictures and what is going on, I try to check it but just the whole idea of it is genius but not for me. Plus the movie had Justin Timberlake in it which is another reason not to waste your time. Then what happened was that I read numerous rave reviews in magazines and newspapers that I respect enough to take their opinion with sincerity. One review said that Justin Timberlake will be nominated for an Oscar. So I did my own research and based on a couple of positive findings such as David Fincher as Director who did 2 of my favorite films in Se7en and Fight Club, Trent Reznor from NIN doing the music and of course the one and only Jesse Eisenberg from classics like Adventureland and Zombieland we decided to go and check it out.

Being surprised is always fun being pleasantly surprised is awesome and this movie delivers as a movie on many levels. It had that hard dark scale washed shooting that sets a tone of inevitable doom as the movie progresses. The dialogue is fast and smart just the way I think so just the way I like it. The main character is a complete assholes but leaves enough so that you as the viewer doesn't hate it and ultimately are concerned with what is happening to him. Everyone knows the story of Facebook and the nerd corruption behind it by now so this movie does not leave any surprises in that sense, but the delivery and direction is gripping in that there is a ton going on but you don't get confused. I am going to say it because I have to...Justin Timberlake can act like a mofo! His portrayal of Sean Parker the creator of Napster was perfect. Every time he came on screen there was a certain creepiness but yet genius to his performance and you forget that you are watching Justin Timberlake and feel that you are watching Sean Parker. For me that moment rarely occurs in the movies, there are only a handful of actors and movies were I believe what they are selling me and he did it so I can give the whiteboy from Philly some respect on that. I was impressed by this movie and would see it again and that is after knowing the story as well.

Overall the movie is excellent and I like it alot because it expresses the way that I feel about it in that it is just a form of social isolation in itself. On my Facebook page there are probably 400 friends and I maybe talk with twenty of them on a regular basis. The rest are people who I maybe knew at one time who want to see what I am doing or want me to see what they are doing and if I really wanted that I would know you and talk to you on a regular basis. It is also just a way for me not to talk to people or make an effort to see them because I can just type something online and keep that relationship going. Kind of like if you text somebody and then they call know you have had this moment and in that moment you are trying to think of some good reason not to talk to them because you figured a text would suffice for the didn't really want to talk to that person. That is what facebook is and has become. Also, the world is falling to shit in a thousand directions and as long as you are on facebook, playing games and looking at pictures what do you care. I do care and that is why I hate the lazy technology that America has become it hasn't done us much good, there are no new inventions hence no new jobs. I don't want to be part of the generation that leaves the world worse for the next generation and that is where we are heading. People used to event cars, electricity, radio and TV now we just find cooler ways to put all of that capability into the palm of your hand or your pocket. Create something new, be original, grow some balls and do something with your lives, kind of like the Facebook guy-social networking is done so screw twitter and chat-roulette and all that stuff that is more of the same be ORIGINAL!!!! It was a good movie what can I say...

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Happiness is the key to my life at this point. Growing up I was a miserable person that masked most of those awful feelings with drugs of all types to help me from feeling that numb, dumb, painful misery. Take depression, add chemicals like a lot of alcohol and you get a harder depression which equals half of my life. I didn't plan to be here long, and people around me didn't expect me to either. When I got clean, I had moments of happiness but it was short lived and easily taken away. Eventually I was miserable because I acted like the same person but just didn't use the drugs to ease that pain. I was looking for happiness in every single outlet besides myself, drugs, money, girls, sex, stealing, fighting, lying, cheating, things that aren't real because they dont come from me. Happiness is an inside job. Eventually I ended up right back where I started and I did this 7 or 8 times until I finally decided that I didn't want to get clean and sober to be miserable as ever. Drugs were at least fun while you were on them. This was extremely painful but I stopped looking for happiness at the bottom of a bottle or inside someones arms. I was miserable. I had to change not the person, place or things, but me. This took a long time but after awhile I could feel things again, I could find enjoyment that was real and not artificially created, pleasure that was genuine and didn't go away. My favorite new DMB song has lyrics that represent this feeling "I am in love with nothing less, teardrops of joy runs off my face, I will rise for someone that's afraid to love, if you knew what I feel then you couldn't be so sure" "if you never flew why would you". I get that now as for a long time I was afraid to face facts. Now that I have I know that if people knew what I feel on the inside then they couldn't be so sure because if you haven't found that happiness in you why would you, you would have no idea how great the other end is.
Once I got there perspectives had to change and recently I have been thinking of a certain saying especially when you deal with other people's tragedy on an everyday basis, people are right where they are supposed to be and what they take from that is ultimately up to them. I myself choose to believe that "every event that befalls me is absolutely the best possible event that could occur--there is no other event imaginable that could benefit me to any greater degree". I like that thought because one it helps with acceptance and reality, two I stay in the present moment, and three it's helps make bad situations seem like good ones. If I can approach a terrible situation the same way that I approach a great one than I am happy either way, clear headed, and stress free. This for me is the key to longevity as if I am not happy, chemicals can enter the equation rather quickly and stress will kill you. Not using drugs is the biggest part of me still being here. I stay happy this way and it has worked for me for quite a long time now. I don't have as many down moments, or worry filled moments like I used to, my life is not as dark as it once was, and for that I am thankful. I want to stick around for what may come next because good or bad, it is for my maximum benefit. Look at the world that way and see what happens.....

Monday, October 11, 2010

Avett Brothers 10/8/10 Raleigh, NC

In Spring of 2009 and my wife and I do we attended 2 Dave Matthews shows, one in Charlotte and one in Raleigh North Carolina. We typically try to get there with enough time to see the opening act as sometimes they are very very good. After talking to people who are into bluegrass about how excited we were to finally see the Old Crow Medicine Show as the opener for DMB in Charlottesville they asked who was opening for DMB in Raleigh and Charlotte. When we said the Avett Brothers they melted with joy and talked about how awesome they are and that we would love them. Upon arriving to the show, it is still the most people I have ever seen for an opening band, we were even more captured when Dave Matthews himself stated that this was a band he had been dying to see and all his friends kept saying "Avett Brothers, Avett Brothers". Dave watched the entire sets both nights from the side of the stage with his band and sure enough this band delivered more than what I was hoping for. They played with such energy and emotion in their songs and lyrics. They were also talented enough to switch intruments and harmonize like no other. After two shows we were sold and rushed to get all of their albums. They soon became our favorite next to DMB. Their latest album "I and Love and You" was produced by the one and only Rick Rubin and really put them on the map. At this point today they have 4 albums on the billboard top 200. The fact that they are from NC and we listen to them almost everyday led us to choose one of their songs as our first dance for our wedding. It wasnt until this past Friday night however that I learned just how good they are when they had the ampitheater to themselves with someone opening for them.

The show was solid from the moment they came out as there was pure energy from the hometown crowd. They played old, new, rare, and personalized much of their music for the Raleigh crowd. This show had so many ups and downs and if you know anything about them you know that this is bluegrass but bluegrass on crack or speed, mixed with punk, or grungegrass. Lyrically they are awesome and musically they are gifted. I havent been to many shows where I felt happy, joy, grateful, enthusiastic, head banging, and loving. They touch many emotions at their shows and can manipulate their music the way that Bob Dylan does at his live shows. Energy was amazing which led to the double encore. Can't wait to see more shows as they keep growing as a band. Here are just a few videos from a great performance by one of the hottest bands out there.

10.8.10- Raleigh, NC @ Walnut Creek

The Fall
Tin Man
Nov Blue
Die, die, die
Dist #74
Jan Wedding
Head full of doubt
Slight Figure of Speech
Tear Down the House
Jenny on a summer day
PG From Cedar Lane
Telling Time
I and love and you
Kickdrum heart
And it Spread
Talk on Indolence
Killed Sallys lover
Perfect Space
Goto Sleep
PG from Raleigh
Laundry Room
Blue Ridge Mountain Blues
Will you Return

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Seeing things Through

In my years I have done many things and not done many things. I grew up knowing what hard work was from seeing my parents work very hard and sacrafice alot to get what they needed and wanted for my sister and I but when I was a kid it was much easier for me to take what I wanted and worry bout the rest later. I knew how to work hard but I never knew what it was to follow that through. Meaning I could always do the work but would give up, procrastinate, or set myself up for a failure somewhere down the line because it was just easier to do, more fun and wasn't as difficult. For a long time when something sucked for me I could just say fuck it, get fucked up and not care on any level what that meant. If I slacked in school or at work, fuck it I could always get high. When I got sober it also took a long time. I could do the work, get the days clean but would once again give up and not see things all the way through. It took some time and pain before I could simplify it to do one thing at a time until I reached a specific goal. Becoming like a postage stamp that only has one thing to do until it gets to where it is going. My goals started small, get a GED, get back to school and ended big with Marriage and 2 Master's degrees. Every step of the way I had to break it down to one simple task. Go to this class, study for this test, write this paper, go to this interview, go the extra mile. Finishing things that I start now is one of my favorite things to do because it feels so damn good on the other end. One step at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time.
This next step has been the most rewarding as I have a wife I love, a job I love, things that I enjoy doing, feeling very healthy, some money in my pocket, things that I have never had or felt. My life is not a struggle like it used to be....for the first time it is completely enjoyable and I have no idea what comes next but I am ready for it the same way I got here one step at a time, one moment at a time and I have had some damn good moments and some very bad moments that got me right here exactly where I am supposed to be. Finish things that you start, break them down to where they don't seem as daunting and take some control of your life. Word

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Another October

The Yanks are back in the playoffs with the ever daunting task of a repeat. As I am truely excited that my team again has a chance and I will be rooting for them very passionately, I don't see this as the year, hope I am wrong but they seem to be experiencing the one thing that I knew would eventually come. At some point these guys are going to get old. Mariano blew more saves in the month of September than he ever did in any other September in his career, at age 40 he can't be that good forever, but this is when he shines so we shall see. Jeter at 36 had the worst year of his career. He has never played so poorly but then again he is Mr. November so we will see. Pettite is most likely going to retire after the season and despite a great start this season, since his injury has gotten rocked, posting an ERA over 7.00. The last of the core four Jorge Posada. He can still be a beast at times and I hope in the playoffs he does but in the last few series of this year he looked old. He couldnt hit and gave up a ton of stolen bases against the rays and red sox. Teams will run on him as he just can't keep up anymore. As in every playoffs though, good pitching beats good hitting and we have one great pitcher and a few question marks where as last year we were rocking all year long. Last year we rode Arod through the playoffs hopefully this year we can get some big plays out of Cano and Tex. I never count the pinstripes out but this year is wide open. Here are my predictions... GO YANKEES!!!!!

Yanks over Twins in 5
Rangers over Rays in 5
Giants over Braves in 4
Phillies over Reds in 3

Yankees over Rangers in 7

Phillies over Giants in 5

World Series
Phillies over Yankees in 5