Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Seeing things Through

In my years I have done many things and not done many things. I grew up knowing what hard work was from seeing my parents work very hard and sacrafice alot to get what they needed and wanted for my sister and I but when I was a kid it was much easier for me to take what I wanted and worry bout the rest later. I knew how to work hard but I never knew what it was to follow that through. Meaning I could always do the work but would give up, procrastinate, or set myself up for a failure somewhere down the line because it was just easier to do, more fun and wasn't as difficult. For a long time when something sucked for me I could just say fuck it, get fucked up and not care on any level what that meant. If I slacked in school or at work, fuck it I could always get high. When I got sober it also took a long time. I could do the work, get the days clean but would once again give up and not see things all the way through. It took some time and pain before I could simplify it to do one thing at a time until I reached a specific goal. Becoming like a postage stamp that only has one thing to do until it gets to where it is going. My goals started small, get a GED, get back to school and ended big with Marriage and 2 Master's degrees. Every step of the way I had to break it down to one simple task. Go to this class, study for this test, write this paper, go to this interview, go the extra mile. Finishing things that I start now is one of my favorite things to do because it feels so damn good on the other end. One step at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time.
This next step has been the most rewarding as I have a wife I love, a job I love, things that I enjoy doing, feeling very healthy, some money in my pocket, things that I have never had or felt. My life is not a struggle like it used to be....for the first time it is completely enjoyable and I have no idea what comes next but I am ready for it the same way I got here one step at a time, one moment at a time and I have had some damn good moments and some very bad moments that got me right here exactly where I am supposed to be. Finish things that you start, break them down to where they don't seem as daunting and take some control of your life. Word

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